Sundries

sun·dry

/ˈsəndrē/

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noun

plural noun: sundries

1. various items not important enough to be mentioned individually.

   "a drugstore selling magazines, newspapers, and sundries"

Noticing your weak areas is not comfortable.

It is disorienting though instructive. It is necessary and needn't be dramatic.  I've spent a good deal of time looking at my weaknesses over the past two years, especially in regards to how I've parented and how I teach. The point of living past middle age is to gain in wisdom, which won't happen if we don't take the time for self reflection. I've seen areas of life where I tend to have a victim mentality, a sure sign that I create my own drama in that realm. There is nothing like teaching, as a career, that makes you very aware of drama. You will never be on top of your workload in this field. You will never be able to make everyone happy in this field, and you won't even be able to figure out your own thinking a lot of the time because every day is new episode in a 9 month tragicomedy. You do try. Your ducks will be paddling off sideways in this career, forget about rows.  But I have also looked into how I can make this an even deeper look. Things that sound appealing for helping me sort the quagmire of my mind: Jungian therapy, increasing meditation time from sporadic to daily, and microdosing. It takes good mental hygiene to mind your own business. Being older and still working makes me long for the days I'll have the leisure to sort out my mind and feelings.

Jungian therapy- I am open to symbols and patterns, and have  appreciated Jung's writings so I think it would be wonderful to dive in to this with a trained therapist.  Here is a link to a brief overview:

https://nyaap.org/about-jungian-analysis/

Meditation- There are many types, I use a focus statement, a mantra, and sit. Here is a good source for learning more about different styles. 

https://www.artofliving.org/us-en/meditation

Microdosing-  Here is a therapist's take on the issue. I have an idea this would be helpful to me. 

https://soundmind.center/updates/philadelphia-magazine-spotlights-soundmind-center-founder-dr-hannah-mclane